Velvet Handshake

Totally random realization this morning at wake : All these pregnancy and giving birth dreams I been having in the last month....

Dream of January 10-11th 2009 : I make love with Blond Man and get pregnant - in the dream, I describe how by the magic of dreams - I am already 3months pregnant, but in reality look at this :
January 0 (doesn't really count)
February 1
March 2
April 3
May 4
June 5
July 6
August 7
September 8
October 9
November 10

Been having the pregnancy and giving birth dreams in these two months - aka - about the right time - 9 months later.

Not sure if this should creep me out or fascinate me like the Sherlock Holmes video game with logic thinking (still inside the dream) or the one where I drawn/took notes about fancy sigils and symbols I wouldn't be able to do in wake land...

Dream of Saturday the 21st 2009 - (very violent)

In the first part, I was in this city, European styled, very little almost countryside city with old round stoned streets, going up and turning around, not a straight street like there is around here in Montreal (even in the Old Port).

I was in a small room, a very basic little room with a table, a lamp, two chairs, a bed, the door facing the bed but on the opposite side of the (like in complete diagonal to the bed) and I was with someone else, can't figure out whom it was - can't even remember the gender, all I know, is that person was on my side, like a protector, a friend.

There was a demon with us, taking the appearance of a small boy with short brown hair, he kept repeating something like what I heard in the movie The Unborn "Jumbeen wants to be born now" (I might have misspelled the name though) Anyway - being myself who I am - I was totally ready to fight against that ! and trust me I can get violent in dreamworld.

( Read further on )

so I downloaded the program last week once, installed it - got me an error message.



So I uninstalled it, rebooted, re-installed it. Still the same. I looked around the net a first time but didn't found conclusive help.

Last Monday ( yesterday ) since I work from noon to 8pm on Mondays, I popped in downtown in the morning. Firstly, what was my surprise to notice that NOTHING opens before 10am and I was there at 9. Yay for a whole hour of walking around and trying to waste time. I ended up going to the Eaton Center, a small health walk up from the Apple Store on Ste-Catherine up to the McGill and Ste-Catherine corner to go in and look around - I had also planed to get a Virgin mobile phone.

But, same thing again ! Only opens at 10 am. So I wander around, and since I do the whole turn around, I notice that the San Francisco store is open and they have this gorgeous big red and black squared purse ! I was looking for one to replace my black "Le beau est toujours bizarre " - Baudelaire bag because it's rather huge and takes place for nothing and for once I want to fit in the office "fashion" and have a purse like every other woman has. [ the quote means : The beautiful (charming) is always weird - and Baudelaire was a French Poet who wrote rather macabre poetry in the Lovey Dovey era ].

So I pop in the store, check out the purse. A sales lady comes near me and states that the bag is on sale - 20$. Woot ! Hell yeah I take it !

I still have time to lose though, as I walk back to the bench in front of the Virgin Mobile kiosk. A true authentic Catholic Priest is sitting on the other edge, doing a big newspaper's Soduku of the day and I can't stop but smiling : how wiicked cool is that ! a real priest doing mathematical logic game on a Monday Morning of all times !   I wait around, and then I remembered that there was a Bentley store a bit lower on the opposite side (like behind me) so I slowly get up, walk there trying to lose seconds, get in, walk around. Notice a neat red leather purse for 40$ - very okay in style but maybe a bit too flashy for me. I keep walking around and then I notice the ultimate cuteness ! Pink and brown squared and smaller sized purse - pink and brown are my totally second set of colors. So I check it out up close and personal but something in the design doesn't quite... please me. The cut in the front reminded me of the top of a corset - which was way too feminine and I wanted something more casual and neutral. I look behind this one and see the same color scheme but a more square cut ! gosh I was trilled ! Totally take it with me, while I was on my way to check out the ... money purses ? where I found a totally cute red leather model like my current black but updated.

Eventually I end up at the cashier paying for it and getting out - going back to the bench, sitting, waiting. The priest was still there. Got up, walked around, came back, sat down again. I almost felt like engaging a conversation with him but I finally jut shushed - I mean, it's not like I'm a bible freak and what if he didn't believe in angels... would have cut short the entertainment.

He gets up again and eventually the sales guy comes around ! Freakin' yay !

I let him open the thingie - and jump on him. Hi, I want a virgin mobile phone, and gently direct him to the pink Samsung one. He gets it out - after a cute lil fight with the glass window thingie and does the magic and I am out by 10:30 in time to walk down back again to the Apple store and buy the iPod Touch I wanted since last October since I saw a teenager in a bus play some flip gem kung-fu panda game or something.

So I get there - get directed to the upper floor. And OUH foken LALA the difference between the spacey empty open spaces of the ground floor versus the Freakin' Crowded up there second floor ! Tables were set up with instructors and regular clients were occupying the chairs - some sort of educational Welcome to Apple World workshop I believe.

I manage to ask a sales boy that I want to buy the iPod touch - which model ? you know, the biggest one ? 64 gig ? yeah yeah that one !

So he directs me to the cashier where the girl is already having the thrill of her day with a customer who came to exchange his computer with a better one and some 6-8% with Bell (phone and internet company) and god knows what crispy details.

Finally it's up to me !! Woot - I get the box - I am surprised by the small compact... arrangement of it all and instantly think : SHIT ! they totally don't have i tunes software on CD. Okay.

I still buy it - get out - all excited. Fetch the metro to work.

The girls are totally curious so I gotta show off what I bought.

Eventually 8pm comes around and I can go home. I come around around before 9pm, have an omelette in a sandwich and turn on the pc.

Some awesome message tells me that the computer had not been turned off appropriately and it needs to be repaired. Okay. It might take a few minutes - the next window says. Okay - which eventually ended up as Bigger than the amount of a "few minutes" I was ready to give this pc for the nigh. Shooed to bed at 9:45 - totally freakin' dead !

Raised from the dead around 5:30am - when dad got up to prepare for his day at the school. I turned on the screen and Magic !! log on screen ! *thank the heavens!*

I come home from work today - Tuesday - and decide that I have the ipod touch plugged in - iTunes SHOULD work now ! ... nopies ! same frucking error message again. So I uninstall. Re-install. Nothing still. I browse. Bonjour needed, uninstall quick time. I do.

So I download and install : Quick times, Bonjour, iTunes 8.0 for windows (since 9 ain't workin !). Some fancy error messages later, I am fucking desperate. And after 4-5 installs, uninstalls and reboots - I am about to google-earth Steve Jobbs and strangle him with my i phone headphones !!

So I spent Tuesday evening from 5:00 pm to 8:30 pm trying to make it work and I am officially quitting on this epic crap !

WHo ever said that Apple was designed to be simple ? I wish him a freakin'  iMac in the ass !

Fall - well, first of all we had an epically crappy summer, for me, like a stretching end of something.

First year of college was intense, long and nearly killed me with stress and then the following event was just a great sum up of the year : exhausting for the nerves !  And a work place far away from everything because I needed that space for myself and my sanity.

Second year ended in a deep depression which lasted until sometime in middle july when a text came to my mind and basically saved me.

Third year ended in stress and depression again, much energy wasted in management and coping with all the crap that we had to go through during the internship.

( Many clouds with a hint of sunlight )